Seasonal veg.

Hello everybody, it's me...

Just lyin in bed at the moment - it's late but i've just been lying here thinking about everything and everybody. I've been thinking a lot about Christmas and the thought of walking back into situations I haven't been in for 2 years - it's quite exciting but at the same time pretty unsettling... But it makes me realise how much I miss you all at times. I miss Bec a lot too; i miss her companionship and even just her txts each day...it's not always like this but the last couple of days especially I've found myself missing her more than before.
So my Skype is playing up at the moment - it keeps signing in and out and struggling to connect and stuff so if you can't see me online that's probably why...
I would guess it's about time I wrote another newsletter eh? I've no idea what to write about - it's pretty difficult to define what God has been doing in my life of late; I'm not really sure! I do wish that I could write about the future though; about what I'm doing after college - where I'm going, who I'm doing it with and all that jazz....but then again I don't really know that either so that sticks a pin in that one!
Loneliness is confusing really isn't it? It's made me realise how much I took for granted having someone to share my life with in Bec... I still have people and of course I have God. And I talk to God all the time. It's just that when I look back over my relationship with God, it always seems like a business thing - I still struggle that He's not a physical, visible, touchable person right in front of me. I hate that He lacks reality to me. I know He's real, I just want Jesus to be actually walking next to me when I'm going places and doing stuff. I wanna have a sleepover with Him and stuff - like best friends from school or something doing everything together. I really need that...I struggle to connect with someone that's not 'there' if you get what I mean - which is cool I guess having been created as a sensory being and it'll be great in Heaven. But right now it's just lonely.
I'm really hoping God pulls a miracle out the bag to help me out with coming home for Christmas too. I'm trying not to focus too much on the natural at the minute. It's just lookin pretty sucky with lots of bills coming in at the moment. Hmmm....well this has been long and random. But it was kinda good to throw some stuff out there. I guess this is almost my way of journaling...I'm such a product of my generation!


Talk soon,

Jon :@)